singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
