It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sorry about my life...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
