New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I checked into jail on foursquare
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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