Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
