Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
