it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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