Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize