I seem to have left my pride at pride
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
