i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
