Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
