wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
