so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
That accounts for only three of the penises
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
