so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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