If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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