You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
