singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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