Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
