is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
