Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
