No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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