okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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