Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
