Soap is not a condiment
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
we're so committed to being not committed
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
