i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
