at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
