Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Green mimosas i think yes
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
