What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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