Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
