i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
