She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
