Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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