The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
