i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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