That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
