GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
