OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
