Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I need to calm my uterus...
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
