I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
