so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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