So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
