What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I CAN MOONWALK!
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
