I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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