I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
