i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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