ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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