True but thats because hes a fetus.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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