I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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