No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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