I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
