would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
